dude i'm inner monologue high
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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