Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
