Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
