You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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