he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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