I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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