For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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