im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
