ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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