distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
