Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize