I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
