My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
