Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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