I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize