Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
