Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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