Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize