bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
