Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
