Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
