So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize