And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
