Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
