Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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