We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
