I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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