So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
