Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
