I can tuck mytits in my pants
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
