ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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