Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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