i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
