woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize