I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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