Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
