Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you never un-have a 4some
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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