dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
