She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
