Barsexuality is the new black.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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