she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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