I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
