we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
