Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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