This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
