I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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