i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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