here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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