I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
