My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
