I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
