All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
