Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
