Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize