My Higher Power is John Stamos
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
