i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
