so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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