dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
