i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
