you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
