...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
