i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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