Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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