I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize