i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
