Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
